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Sleep Deprivation + Scriptwriting Student = Awful Scripts

Date: Friday, September 15, 2006
Place: Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia

FADE IN:

1. EXT. SÜKHBAATAR SQUARE. DAY

Lightning crashes. Beneath the statue of Sükhbaatar, the Western stereotype of CHINGGIS KHAAN appears, reincarnated, just in front of a bewildered Australian TOURIST.

TOURIST

Uh– wha–

CHINGGIS KHAAN

I am Chinggis Khaan!

TOURIST

You– you speak English?

CHINGGIS KHAAN

English?

TOURIST

Uh, never mind. Why are you here?

CHINGGIS KHAAN

I have come back to see what has become of my people. Where are the horses? What has become of the warriors? Why are there so many foreigners, and why are they not cowering?

TOURIST

Well, it has been 800 years–

CHINGGIS KHAAN
(interrupting)

Why are YOU here?

TOURIST

I just wanted to see Mongolia before the nomads disappeared altog–

CHINGGIS KHAAN
(angry)

Disappeared?!

TOURIST
(shrugs)

Sorry. Time has marched on. Mongolia is joining the modern world.

CHINGGIS KHAAN

This is not the way of Mongolia! The people should fight to resume their rightful place!

CHINGGIS KHAAN has now worked himself into a frenzy. Looking around and unleashing some inarticulate growls of rage, he finally draws his sword and runs the TOURIST through. The TOURIST gasps in shock.

TOURIST

KHAAAAAAAAAN!

CHINGGIS KHAAN moves off, running people — Mongolian and foreign alike — through left, right and centre. As the TOURIST fades, we too:

FADE OUT.

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